Let him see you having a fabulous life
I have this tiny little adorable dog named Rocky who weighs all of 5 pounds.
He’s a breed that’s incredibly calm, which makes him a very good companion for a writer like me who spends a lot of time at home with a keyboard.
But you should see him when my sons get to wrestling or acting crazy. He gets so excited! He can’t resist joining in the fun.
Men are the same way. Guys (for that matter, most people) are instantly attracted to someone who is clearly having fun and getting all the pleasure life has to offer.
Think about how you feel when you see your favorite sports team playing incredibly well, mopping up the competition in a championship game.
You shout and cheer yourself hoarse, and are reeling with giddiness and joy when they win. You see your favorite team leaping around the field, doing their victory dances, and loving life… and it makes you love life, too.
Your deep, authentic pleasure is HIGHLY attractive to men!
Mental fabulous
When you feel utterly grounded in your soul and purpose, when you are confident and happy – then it’s easy to enjoy your own fabulous life.
But sometimes you don’t feel that way, regardless of how good your life really is. Sometimes you’re struggling just to drag your self-esteem up out of the scummy pond bottom where it’s sunken into the slime.
Or maybe you’re feeling relatively fine, no recent self-esteem near-misses or catastrophes, but… there’s still something missing. You’re trying to make the daily determination about whether the glass is half empty or half full, and you have to work at polishing your life to get a gleam out of it.
Believe me, most women have spent time in all these places, from pond sludge to queen of the world.
The trick is to let your man SEE you having a fabulous life, even if you don’t FEEL like you’re having a fabulous life. It’s not as hard as it sounds, and it often has a very positive fake-it-till-you-make it effect!
IMPORTANT NOTE: This is not about manipulating him.
It’s about making sure he knows that you are grounded in yourself, complete in yourself, and not looking to him to save, rescue, fix, or finish you.
Even if you have emotional baggage strewn like chunks of broken concrete all over the foyer of your emotional mansion, you’re going to make an outward show of confidence while you spend your nights with your sleeves rolled up, sweating and working to clean up your interior.
Need help? If you don’t have a great girlfriend who can support you as you work to make your way out of a tough place, find a good counselor or therapist. Also, lots of women’s organizations and churches can point you in the right direction to find a listening ear and supportive voice.
You’re worth all that and more.
Time and friend fabulous
Sometimes when you’re in a new relationship you start slowly changing the once-normal patterns of your life. At first you spent a little time with him, now you’re canceling everything whenever you think there might be the remotest possibility that he’ll call.
All of a sudden you’ll have a moment when you think – when was the last time I talked with my best girlfriends? Or, Wow, I haven’t had a great workout in weeks. Or, My mom’s gonna kill me if I don’t give her a call this week. Or, Ugh, I really have to get some decent groceries in and start eating right again.
It can be intoxicating when you first meet a man you really like. BUT! It’s not worth the sacrifice of what makes you truly vibrant and wonderful! And in fact, that was what attracted him to you in the first place.
Let the dynamic, gorgeous YOU go, and he’s likely to go right along with it.
Money and success fabulous
Be the hero of your own job.
One time I was walking downtown with one of my boys when he was just a toddler. We stopped to peer in the window of a funky little pizza joint, where we could see the guy behind the counter making pies.
Catching a glimpse of us out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly turned from his work, grabbed two pepperoni circles and stuck them right to his side of the window in front of us! He grinned, and drew a smile under the makeshift pepperoni “eyes” with one flour-smeared finger before returning to his workstation to make pizzas.
My son and I were wonderstruck.
It doesn’t matter if you watch grass grow for a living, do your job with excellence and style. Be on time and on task, every single day. Be the one everyone relies on, the one people look to and enjoy being around. You’ll draw men like a magnet when you show spirit in your work.
And it goes without saying, but of course I’m gonna say it: You should always be working toward financial stability.
Don’t delay taking charge of your finances in hopes that some man will happen along who will solve all that for you. That can leave you open to all kinds of unwanted attention from creepy, controlling guys. Yikes.
Instead, take the long view. Financial success may not come overnight, but it can be built, one small piece at a time.
