Do you have girlfriends who dive into every new dating relationship with the intensity of a law school student who has only 24 hours left to study before taking the bar exam?
Whew! Nobody needs that kind of pressure, do they? You’re so much smarter than that, beautiful.
I recently answered a letter from a young woman who didn’t really want to date at ALL. There’s plenty of room in the world for being happily single, just as there is for dating around without so much pressure to it.
In the early stages of dating, a relationship should always be casual. There’s just no need for thinking ahead, commitments or exclusive promises. Not yet.
In fact, casual dating can be a delightful treat in your life; it’s like a tasty relationship hors d’oeuvre, and here’s why you shouldn’t be skipping it and heading straight into the main course…
1. Casual dating is FUN
Casual dating is waaaay more fun than watching old Saved By the Bell reruns, chica. Although I admit Seinfeld reruns are pretty compelling. But I was saying: casual dating lets you get out of your house, have a little pleasure, and get to know someone new. And that’s enough reason to do it right there.
2. Casual dating lets you test drive different kinds of partners
You know all those “fish in the sea” your mom told you about? You should check out a lot of different kinds. After all, how else will you know if you’re a seared ahi tuna type, or a deep fried fish-n-chips gal?
3. Casual dating is a good reminder that it’s not your job to “save” anyone
If you’re the type of woman who seems to keep bringing home the helpless lost puppies of the man world, dating casually can help you learn to break that habit. And once you’re no longer looking for a pet project, you’ll be much more ready to consider an exclusive dating arrangement.
4. Casual dating reminds you that YOU don’t need “saving”
Same coin, other side, princess. 🙂 You’re not in need of rescue! You are a queen in command of her realm, and you get to hold tournaments in which men try to win your favor! How’s that for turnaround?
5. Casual dating gives you time to unpack your baggage
But not during the date, of course! Comfy-breezy dating simply gives you time to work on some of the issues that either caused a breach in your former relationships, or could cause one in a new relationship.
6. Casual dating lets you be your normal, attractive, not-desperate self
Sometimes you may have felt like you had to twist into a zillion different shapes to be the person a particular man would be attracted to. Light, uncomplicated dating lets you enjoy being the person you REALLY are. Which will work nicely in your favor if and when you decide to commit to a man.
7. Casual dating reminds you that you WANT, but don’t NEED a man to feel happy
How great is it when dating is the cherry in the whipped cream on the ice cream sundae of your life? It’s not the whole thing (I almost said it’s not the whole enchilada, but we were talking ice cream sundaes and… you know, I’m still good with it! 🙂 ), it’s just the special, bright, yummy, sticky, delicious treat on top! Your LIFE should make you happy; once you really encompass that idea, you’re ready to add a man (the cherry!) to the top.
