How Do I Know Which Guy to Pick? (10 Dealbreakers)

Know the things you REALLY must have in a relationship

If there are a LOT of things on your “must have in a relationship” list, can you tell the difference between the true must haves and the dealbreakers?

When you’re in the middle of a relationship crisis is usually when you decide that the very thing the two of you are arguing about is the BIGGEST thing. You must have THIS, and you can’t compromise.

If you run your relationship like this, it isn’t going to last long.

Everything can’t be The Most Important Thing (or even ONE OF The Most Important Things). There really are requirements for what you must have in a relationship, and it’s actually a reasonably limited list.

Top 10 things you MUST HAVE in a relationship:

  1. He is very attracted to you EVEN if the two of you didn’t jump into bed right away.
  2. You two have similar foundational values in life.
  3. He makes you a consistent priority in his life. You’re not ALWAYS his #1 priority, but you’re always in the top 3 most important things going on in his life.
  4. You feel strong and good when you’re with him.
  5. His words consistently match his actions, so you are building a solid foundation of trust.
  6. The people most important to you like him.
  7. He is reasonably solid financially (or working to get there).
  8. He wants what’s best for you.
  9. You two have successfully been through some difficult things together, and come out better for it.
  10. He is mature and willing to grow.

These are worth struggling for, fierce heart! And the list below will help you know if it’s time to let him go…

Top 10 true DEAL-BREAKERS in a relationship:

  1. Neither of you have experienced any personal growth since you started dating each other.
  2. You are NOT one of the top 3 priorities in his life.
  3. You always have the sense that he’s hiding something from you.
  4. Your most-trusted friends dislike him, and he doesn’t like them, either.
  5. He’s deep in an addiction. (Or you are.)
  6. You’re never sure whether he’s about to show affection or become violent.
  7. He regularly tears down other people. (PS: You’re next.)
  8. He doesn’t value your opinion.
  9. He has money for fun stuff, but can’t pay the rent.
  10. He’s married or not *completely* finished with his divorce.